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:iconglossolalias: More from glossolalias


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ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

Literature by pomohippie7

Literature by Sammur-amat


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Submitted on
December 12, 2012
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there are so many 
blue stars in your skin
but i can't believe 
each neuron is a universe
alight with planets,
gaunt aliens signing god

in the absence of your name,
dim cars on the street,
beneath an awning
like a glowing orange womb
you shudder saying,

god,

i just had a chill, 
is this room cold
or are we in the gut 
of a giant 
who's strung out
seven days lifeless,
biting the apple,
a dragon,
wishing for his mother,
mijo, dios

es magno,
the earth is spinning 
in the eyes
of a turtle
with a red shell
who swims in the flowers 
ophelia braided, 
who swallows supernovas 
and they pass through his kidneys,

oh god,

we could burst any minute,
a fly's nerves twitch,
tectonics shift, 
a city laid,
babel screeches
between microscope lenses, 
clutching wife to child,

do you know my name?

do you know you're shivering? 
do you know i'm the son 
of your nucleus?
i live in your cheek
and die at your next supper,
drowning in saliva.


theories.
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:iconfervvent:
fervvent Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i like this, but i couldn't help but feel like the rhythm was a little stop-and-go,
perhaps try just breaking the lines in more enjambed places, instead of in phrases
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
( and the intention of breaking it by syllables was indeed, a less-than smooth rhythm; especially in the fifth stanza, not counting the single lines, i wanted noticeable stops and an uneven cadence)
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
mmmmm, im inclined to disagree. when i read this, it has the rhythm i want, and i didnt break it "into phrases"-- i broke it by syllables.
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014   General Artist
amazing! :worship:
emphasizing the ideas of largeness and smallness 
and your imagination and imagery
goodness :heart:

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:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
wow wow wow the imagery here is phenomenal
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:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013   Writer
"we could burst any minute,
a fly's nerves twitch,
tectonics shift, 
a city laid,
babel screeches
between microscope lenses, 
clutching wife to child,

do you know my name?" 

killer. the flow is stunning  
this is a beautiful piece. i like how you describe neurons and how that plays with my head. 
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Professional Writer
:clap:
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:iconlike1guy:
Like1guy Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, I love this poem. Keep writing.

Loving the refrain too and ooh!
You should look into sestinas, I'll bet you would love writing those : P
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
i am familiar with the sestina x)

thank you!
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:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013   Writer
this is phenomenal and the imagery is spectacular. :love:
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