Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconglossolalias: More from glossolalias


Featured in Collections

ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

Literature by Sammur-amat


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
December 12, 2012
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
926
Favourites
49 (who?)
Comments
32
×
there are so many 
blue stars in your skin
but i can't believe 
each neuron is a universe
alight with planets,
gaunt aliens signing god

in the absence of your name,
dim cars on the street,
beneath an awning
like a glowing orange womb
you shudder saying,

god,

i just had a chill, 
is this room cold
or are we in the gut 
of a giant 
who's strung out
seven days lifeless,
biting the apple,
a dragon,
wishing for his mother,
mijo, dios

es magno,
the earth is spinning 
in the eyes
of a turtle
with a red shell
who swims in the flowers 
ophelia braided, 
who swallows supernovas 
and they pass through his kidneys,

oh god,

we could burst any minute,
a fly's nerves twitch,
tectonics shift, 
a city laid,
babel screeches
between microscope lenses, 
clutching wife to child,

do you know my name?

do you know you're shivering? 
do you know i'm the son 
of your nucleus?
i live in your cheek
and die at your next supper,
drowning in saliva.


theories.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfervvent:
fervvent Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i like this, but i couldn't help but feel like the rhythm was a little stop-and-go,
perhaps try just breaking the lines in more enjambed places, instead of in phrases
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
( and the intention of breaking it by syllables was indeed, a less-than smooth rhythm; especially in the fifth stanza, not counting the single lines, i wanted noticeable stops and an uneven cadence)
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
mmmmm, im inclined to disagree. when i read this, it has the rhythm i want, and i didnt break it "into phrases"-- i broke it by syllables.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014   General Artist
amazing! :worship:
emphasizing the ideas of largeness and smallness 
and your imagination and imagery
goodness :heart:

Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
wow wow wow the imagery here is phenomenal
Reply
:iconunspecifiedunknown:
UnspecifiedUnknown Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013   Writer
"we could burst any minute,
a fly's nerves twitch,
tectonics shift, 
a city laid,
babel screeches
between microscope lenses, 
clutching wife to child,

do you know my name?" 

killer. the flow is stunning  
this is a beautiful piece. i like how you describe neurons and how that plays with my head. 
Reply
:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Professional Writer
:clap:
Reply
:iconlike1guy:
Like1guy Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, I love this poem. Keep writing.

Loving the refrain too and ooh!
You should look into sestinas, I'll bet you would love writing those : P
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
i am familiar with the sestina x)

thank you!
Reply
:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013   Writer
this is phenomenal and the imagery is spectacular. :love:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconmomo-madness:
momo-madness Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013   Writer
you're welcome :rose:
Reply
:iconneonsquiggle:
neonsquiggle Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So amazing. I love it.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel opened up. Wrung out, and left pieceless. Stunning, truly.

I loved your formatting on this, the way each line ends with some form of 'god' that carries onto the next line/stanza. Beautiful.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
thank you!
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"es magno: the earth is spinning in the eyes
of a turtle with a red shell who swims in
the flowers ophelia braided, who swallows
supernovas and they pass through his kidneys;
oh god" :heart:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconreflexively:
reflexively Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
commenting twice bc i forgot how much i loved this one ^^
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconyour-methamphetamine:
your-methamphetamine Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Writer
I love this.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
thank you.
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Amazing. I especially like the 3rd stanza.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
thank you!
Reply
:iconkamisch42:
kamisch42 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Really powerful, gorgeous imagery in there! I love that the earth is spinning in the eyes of a turtle with a red shell :D
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Phenomenal! :clap:
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. :heart:
Reply
:iconreflexively:
reflexively Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i really really like this!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012
thank you haunt
Reply
:iconreflexively:
reflexively Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^
Reply
Add a Comment: